Mother Nature's Maid

This is how I try to become a dirty hippie the old-fashioned way

Hippie hair and sunglasses (My no ‘poo memories in a nutshell) July 18, 2012

Now that my No ‘Poo struggles are officially over, it’s nice that we can all look back on them and laugh.  Too soon?  Yea, maybe a little.  Oh well, at least you can laugh.  As a grand Sham finale, here are 10 of my most memorable No ‘Poo moments:

1.  “I keep a hairbrush in my car and a mirror in my purse.  I have to – otherwise I spend half my day looking for makeshift mirrors … Once I was fixing my hair in the reflection of a superbly darkened car window when it began to slide down and the driver asked,

‘Can I help you?’

‘As a matter of fact,’ I responded, ‘You can put your window back up; unless you happen to have a mirror in there I could borrow.'”  Read More!  March 18 – “Trust me, hairs, you will thank me (I hope)”

2.  “And so I welcomed Oily on board as I have the other hair-care issues … I said hello, ushered it into the shower and closed the door as fast as possible.  I always hope we won’t meet again, but they usually come up with something.  As we speak, Oily, Greasy and Windblown are all planning a surprise party for me for later this evening; and Baking Soda, Vinegar and Lemon are topping the bill.”  Read More!  March 24 – “Tell me the truth, hairs; did my armpits put you up to this?”

3.  “Do you know how your hair feels when it’s weighed down with product?  I’ve got that.  Do you know how it feels when it’s limp from lingering conditioner?  I’ve got that, too.  How about when it’s salty and dry from the ocean?  Got that, too.  Or when your hair is dirty from a skipped wash?  Got it.  Do you know how it feels when your hair has had it with all this naturalness and just wants the good old chemicals back?  Definitely got it.”  Read More!  March 25 – “Welcome to your no ‘poo nightmare”

4.  “I had a lot of BS in my hair today … Every time I touched my hair, I came away with dust.  My hands were grainy and needed washing … Papers were gritting across my desk.  It was like I was working in a sandbox.”  Read More!  March 26 – “Don’t throw baking soda; it could get in someone’s eyes”

5.  “This morning I lost it … I ended up pouring about half a pepper shaker’s worth of corn starch in my hair, and when I wasn’t satisfied with that, I followed with another half shaker of BS.  When all you have is powder, your best offense is overkill.  My hair looked like a dead person’s.  I grabbed a bottle of shampoo … I was on edge …”  Read More!  March 29 – “No ‘poo is a whole lot of BS (and I don’t mean baking soda)”

6.  “Let me give you a tip – coconut oil will cling to your hair like Gorilla Glue … My hair felt like a ball of soft candle wax from root to tip.  I could have molded it into a bust of Kate Middleton and offered it up to Madame Tussauds for a small fortune.”  Read More!  March 30 – “Moisture treatments are coconuts”

7.  “I am now head-over-heels in love with a 104-year-old phony doctor who claims that planetariums are the temples of our future.  Meet Dr. Bronner.  … I heard him say the words ‘all-natural’ and ‘clean’ in the same sentence, and I was on board faster than a group of Trekkies buying Comicon tickets.”  April 9 – “The way to a girl’s heart is through her hair”

8.  “As usual on Meltdown Day, I woke up for work to find hair oiled within an inch of its life.  As usual on Meltdown Day, I gave it the good old college try – dry shampoo, enthusiastic brushing, a variety of grease-concealing styles …And as usual on Meltdown Day, I ended up shampooing in a last-minute frenzy and made false promises to myself that this would be the last Meltdown Day ever.”  Read More!  April 22 – “Say it ain’t true, Auntie Sue”

9.  “It’s more like a slip-up than actual cheating, anyway.  So don’t judge me – don’t you dare judge me.  At least not until you’ve had No Poo grease so thick in your hair that a match lit within a 10-yard radius of your head would blow you up like an atomic bomb.”  Read More!  June 7 – “We know I can’t no ‘poo, but watch me sham wow”

10.  “In a moment of scandalizing audacity, I used a small bit of traditional conditioner …. Obviously, yes, I was cheating.  They say Karma comes back to bite you in the end, and she certainly had a field day on this one.”  Read More!  June 16 – “Ocean City: The Part II”

I may have failed, but you can’t lie – nobody does No ‘Poo like MNM!

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7 Responses to “Hippie hair and sunglasses (My no ‘poo memories in a nutshell)”

  1. L&K M XO Says:

    As Bob Hope used to say – “Thanks for the memories .” I enjoyed the walk down the lane!!!

  2. Diddykong Says:

    I remembered some, but had forgotten about ALL those different hair disasters, and then reading about them in your blog today brought them all back. And how can you put a price on memories like that? I especially remembered the one when your hair looked like a wig that Geo Washington would have worn, all powdered up. I’d have given up way sooner on the experiment than you did, and I don’t even have nice hair! It was quite an odyssey.

    • MNM293001 Says:

      I honestly can’t believe I lasted as long as I did, seeing as my hair is my most favorite feature. When I went back through I really was amazed that it had almost been four months since my hair felt normal or was even just clean on a daily basis. I must say, I’m so happy with it now, and I’m even getting better sleep as well without all the worry! What a great advertisement for commercial shampoos.

  3. Aunt S Says:

    Is there any way to advertise your blog? This would be a great one to post somewhere to get more followers. How many do you have now?

    • MNM293001 Says:

      This WOULD be a wonderful way to suck people in – they’d definitely want to follow the idiot who could manage to compile all these horror stories without giving up on the natural shampoo quest!! hahaha

  4. rose Says:

    This is great! I was actually thinking about you last night and wondering when your next post will be. Thanks for the chuckles. One of my favorites was the darkened car window. I’m glad you’re happy about your experiment experience and even happier for you that your hair is back to normal. Please keep the posts coming. You always manage to make me laugh, thank you.


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