One thing I wish I’d known before the invention: It is impossible.
The natural concealer I am currently using is a clumsy excuse for a makeup product. It’s a 2-step process that doesn’t work great and is really finicky. After applying my powder foundation, I start by dabbing on some of the concealer paste. Before it dries completely, I dip a small brush into a second foundation powder that’s a shade lighter than the first and pat that on overtop. After this second powder, you cannot touch your skin, because any aggravation to the concealed area will cause the makeup to clump like oatmeal.
This is how well the homemade product works: Yesterday, I applied it to one eye and asked my friend Carrie to identify which eye was concealed and which was plain. She guessed the wrong eye.
That said, it still works a heck of a lot better than the first four recipes I concocted.
Attempt 1: Jojoba Oil, Sandalwood EO, Aloe Vera Gel, Water, Homemade Foundation.
The making: This is a recipe I found all over the internet. The idea is to take some powder foundation and mix it with oil to make a nice concealer. The problem – all the examples I found used store-bought foundation. The oil overpowered my homemade foundation, and no addition of water of AVG could mellow it.
The final product: The powder settled at the bottom like a miniature tan sandbar in an ocean of yellow oil. It separated on my face into water, powder and oil. By the time I threw it out, it slid into the trash can in one disgusting clump like a slippery mold.
Attempt 2: Homemade Foundation, Homemade Lotion, Water.
The making: A second recipe that I found all over the internet. According to all the tutorials that described mixing powder foundation with lotion, this is a foolproof method. Apparently, it’s only foolproof if you’re using store-bought products. This one had a nice consistency – light and fluid – but nothing to glue it together.
The final product: While I achieved an almost perfect consistency in the mixing bowl, it didn’t stay that way on my skin. Like Attempt 1, Attempt 2 separated on my face. The lotion and water disappeared, and the powder clumped into dry un-spreadable mounds.
Attempt 3: Aloe Vera Gel, Water, Isopropyl Alcohol.
The making: This is a recipe I concocted after I’d already begun to get frustrated, and it shows. Despite the new ingredients, it turned out much the same as Attempt 2. It was a nice consistency, but the powder settled in the bottom and separated from the liquid.
The final product: Like I experienced with Attempt 2, this recipe separated and clumped on my face. Literally nothing was achieved.
Attempt 4: Water, Vegetable Oil, Glycerin, Guar Gum, Homemade Foundation.
The making: Was frightening. It started out promising, but things went south. Some animated stirring produced a thick, viscous, gelatinous material horrifyingly similar to my Dog Slobber Soap. I just can’t get next to putting anything of this consistency on my skin. On the plus side, the color was quite perfect.
The final product: Was disgusting. No, seriously…this ish was nasty. It was like putting dense slimy pudding on my face that dried in sticky clumps. In the end, I found it congealed in its dish, wiggling like Jell-O every time the dogs ran through the kitchen. I could turn the dish upside-down and the stuff wouldn’t even budge. Just plain gross.
So if you see me in the next few months and my face looks like a train wreck, don’t be at all surprised. Look at what I have to work with.