Welcome To Your No ‘Poo Nightmare

Could it come to this?

Today was another bad hair day.  Or, as I like to call it (now that I’ve gone “No ‘Poo”): A hair day.  I’m in a pickle, guys; a no ‘poo pickle.

Do you know how your hair feels when it’s weighed down with product?  I’ve got that.  Do you know how it feels when it’s limp from lingering conditioner?  I’ve got that, too.  How about when it’s salty and dry from the ocean?  Got that, too.  Or when your hair is dirty from a skipped wash?  Got it.  Do you know how it feels when your hair has had it with all this naturalness and just wants the good old chemicals back?  Definitely got it.

Despite the changes I made yesterday, I’ve got the same dry texture issues and the same oil issues as I’ve had since I started this hair-brained experiment (no pun intended).  It’s like I need a moisturizing treatment and a dehydrating cleanse all at once – try to find a shampoo (natural or otherwise) to help you out with that one.  See?  Pickle.

I washed my hair yesterday evening, and by this morning it was a limp, dry, greasy, oily, dull, stiff, waxy mess.  The oil is the worst right at my scalp, at the back of my head and near the nape of my neck.  It usually looks like my hair is not completely dry yet, and the oil dissipates somewhat after a good brushing.  Baking soda and corn starch have been life-savers; just a bit of powder gets rid of the dirty look.

I say “dirty look” rather than “dirtiness,” because I have no doubt that my hair actually is clean – I’ve been washing it faithfully every day and dumping enough baking soda on it to deodorize a garbage truck.

This afternoon, I washed my hair (yet) again, and this time I used a hair dryer, hoping it might help the not-completely-dry-yet look.  It didn’t.  I went to my mother.

“More hair problems?” she asked.

“Add it to the list!  This is ridiculous – I can’t live like this!” I ripped at my hair, pulling it out to the sides of my head.  It stayed there.

After some research, I’ve found some great resources for my no ‘poo nightmare.  The best resource: Finding out that I’m not alone.   My limp, dry, greasy, oily, dull, stiff, waxy hair is not an anomaly.  I’m learning that “greasy” doesn’t mean “dirty.”  It means “greasy” (which means something like “your hair is figuring out where the onslaught of chemicals has gone”).

I’ve had another realization: I’m using too much baking soda.  Most of the testimonials I’ve read say to wash your hair only a few times a week when you’re cutting out shampoo.  I’ve been washing daily (if not more).  However, I don’t like the idea of NOT washing, so I’m going to cut back on the amount of BS I use six days of the week.  Also, I am absolutely aware that I have basically no control over how much of my BS/H2O brew goes on my head, so I’m mixing up a fixed amount for each washing.

Here’s my new regimen: Six days of the week, I’ll use ½tsp baking soda to 1cup of water, pouring the entire mixture on my head in each washing.  On the seventh day, I’ll go heavy duty and use 1tbsp baking soda to 1cup water.

My dad told me today that my Volvo needs an oil change.

“Forget about the Volvo,” I said. “I need an oil change – on my head.”


9 thoughts on “Welcome To Your No ‘Poo Nightmare

  1. Might be time to consider trying a hat? jkjkjk
    Did you get my previous response about a hot oil treatment or trying some other natural things like mayo, eggs, beer? Seems that I recall in years past some of these were suggested for intensive moisturizing.
    Also wondering if the perfume phase has anything to do with the oil you are experiencing?
    So…. what’s on the schedule for this coming week?

    • I have heard of some of those remedies (from people who have been having dryness issues from going No Poo, even) – apparently sleeping in a mayo hair mask is one?? THAT would be taking it too far haha The reason why I haven’t yet tried any of those (even though I DESPERATELY need moisture) is because I’m keeping them in a vault for my leave-in conditioner treatment! As far as the upcoming week goes, it was supposed to be toothpaste, but with the hair situation as it is, I’m not sure if I’ll get to it…may give myself 2 weeks for this shampoo experiment.

  2. Good luck with your new (and hopefully – IMPROVED ) regimen. Know you’ve been having a rough time this week – hang in there –

  3. Why don’t you just try not washing it? Everyone says that your hair starts to “wash itself” after a few weeks (or less, maybe? I’m no expert) and it would certainly mean you’re not using strange chemicals on it. My sister just came home for Easter break, and revealed that she hasn’t washed her hair since 1st February and it looks and feels absolutely fine AND she works in a bar…although I think she does use dry shampoo now and again…

    • Wow that’s definitely an idea, especially because I think the baking soda was making my hair dry/waxy. Now that I’ve cut back, my hair is getting much softer. I have to say I’m a little uneasy about not washing at all – I like to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING haha – but a lot of people say that you can eventually wean off the BS. But now that I have it from a trustworthy source, maybe I’ll try it! Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. Best to put off the eggs etc til you find a cleansing regimen that works. Eggs could be quite messy if you have no way of washing them out. Cudos for sticking with it (no pun intended)…I would have been into the real poo by day 2 (no rhyme intended).

    • Amen to that. And I’ve heard that if you wash in water that’s too hot, your hair can scramble. Wouldn’t that be a sight? But maybe a good idea, now that I’m showering in the morning and all – breakfast perhaps?

      • You could start a new trend…breakfast in the shower. Prep, eat and clean up all at once…what a time saver. I hate when I find a hair in my food though so on second thought…

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