“My hair is a broken down engine” (or “My No ‘Poo patience is growing thin”)

Help! I have nature hair!

Let me tell you a secret: I am masquerading as a well-‘pooed person.

Some time ago, I came home complaining to my dad that the Volvo’s check engine light was rather chronically on (bear with me; I’m getting to a point).  He told me he’d take a look, and by that weekend he said the problem was taken care of – the check engine light would no longer be a bother.  Choice!

About a week later, the wagon broke down in a Target parking lot.  We hauled her into the shop, where I took the bad news: engine work.

“But Daddy, you said you fixed it!  What gives?”

“Sure I fixed it – I cut the wires to your check engine light.  It didn’t come back on, did it?”

I’m the Volvo, and I’m cutting the wires to my check engine light.  I realized today that all this baking soda and corn starch (the dry shampoos I’ve been using for the past week) are just masking my underlying No ‘Poo problem: oily, greasy hair.  (Not dirty – just overly-producing natural oils!)

Sooner or later, I’m going to have to face the music and make a decision on whether or not to pull the plug on this thing.  Sooner or later, I may have to admit that No ‘Poo just isn’t working for me. Sooner or later, I’m going to have to fix the engine in my hair.

Honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I can walk around like this – always making myself presentable with a slapdash temp fix.  (That is, unless capes come back in style, and seeing as the Harry Potter craze came and went without that coming to fruition, I doubt we’ll see it in our lifetime.)

To be fair, I am still seeing progress just about every day.  Perhaps it’s just my wishful thinking, but I am really compelled to believe that this will eventually work (but not without first putting me through hair day hell, apparently).  I showered this morning (once again using 1/2tsp of BS to 8oz. of water) and my hair was less oily today than it was yesterday; and since cutting back on the BS, my hair has been getting softer, as well.  Another unusual development: My hair somehow feels thicker.  Go figure.

Blah…I give up!

On the other hand, my once bright, bouncy, shiny blonde head is still a dull, listless, lackluster helmet.  It’s not pretty. However, I do intend to stick with it until this weekend.  I’m determined that it will work.If I’m still floundering by Friday, I’m going to take a long look at my hairs and ask,

“What did I ever do to you?  When did I ever hurt you?”

And they’ll reply,

“You’re joking, right?  Let’s see: hot curlers, hair spray, flat irons, curling irons, shampoo, crimpers, chlorine, gum, teasing, scrunching, blow dryers, rubber bands…need we go on?”


11 thoughts on ““My hair is a broken down engine” (or “My No ‘Poo patience is growing thin”)

  1. OK here’s an idea, although it may not get traction with your challenge as you, so far, have been such a staunch purist. It does involve shampoo, but only temporarily! Here’s the deal. Sometimes cold turkey is just too difficult and a “weaning off” process is needed to make the transition tolerable. Cold turkey off coffee and you have terrible headaches for a week. Cold turkey off nicotine and you are quite miserable for a while. Cold turkey off alcohol …….. well, you get the idea. Maybe you would be more successful with a weaning off period. Use shampoo(the most natural you can find) 2/3 x’s a week or whatever, and gradually go longer periods between your poo sessions until you totally transition. Would obviously take longer, but might save you from a meltdown!

    • This is a tempting idea. As I said earlier, I’m not sure how it will fit in with my homemade idea, because it would be cheating a little bit. Plus, I’m SO determined to do this on my own. However, it might give me just the boost I need to get through the greasy period!

  2. As someone who sees you every day I must agree – your hair has NEVER looked like it does on this no “poo” regimen. I’ve seen you after being sick, working out, running cross country races, being up in airports and on planes all day and night and after simply not washing it for a couple days. But it has never looked like it does now. Oh yeah – when its at its oily phase ( prior to the dusting phase ) – sure I’ve seen your hair that dirty. But once you dust it with baking soda or cornstarch to look presentable for the day – it looks so dull, listless, coarse and otherwise unhealthy. I agree – just cause you can dust your head to mask the oil and go out in public for the day – it doesn’t change the fact that the natural “poo” is not cleaning your hair. It looks dirty as soon as it dries from washing. I commend you for your persistence and resolve to see this through – but I do miss your lovely head of shiny, silky, soft, blond tresses.

    • You should have seen me this morning. I had to put a TON of dry shampoo in my hair, which turned it practically GRAY. I practically had the TRESemme bottle in my hand……

  3. Although I haven’t seen you – I am sure you look as beautiful as ever! DON’T B DISCOURAGED…..You have gone poo-less a lot longer than, I am sure, many of your followers would (esp MOI)! Keep in mind this is a “challenge” so if you elect to go back to poo again – maybe try a “natural” (or as close as possible) marketed one for now and tweek and revisit your homemade poo another time.
    Maybe even purchase a poo for now but continue your homemade conditioner??
    Keep up the good job….

  4. I am afraid I have to agree with your other concerned followers…maybe a thorough cleansing is just the thing to give your hair a reboot. I don’t mean to tempt you but Herbal Essence has some shampoos such as “Drama Clean”, “Hello Hydration” and “Color Me Happy” that I am sure your hair would thank you for.

    • You have no idea how close I really was to doing just that yesterday morning. I’d call it an all-time low. Haha But things are looking better now, as you’ll read in my latest post!! PS – Believe me, I know the exact names of all the Herbal Essences shampoos….I look at them longingly as I pass their aisle in the supermarket….

  5. I don’t know if you stuck it out or if ended shampooing but here are few tips just in case.I have been without shampoo for almost 5 months now 🙂 I know the transition is tough but it DOES get better!Are you using a boar’s hair brush to help move the oil? I also found that making the baking soda/water mixture ahead of time with boiled water to be helpful. Don’t forget the Apple Cider Vinegar and water rinse for a conditioner substitute. I now only have to do this process every a couple of weeks and just rinse with hot water everyday in the shower.

    • Hi Regan! I actually couldn’t stick it out 😦 I don’t know how anyone can get through the greasy phase – it was absolutely terrible for me! Just out of curiosity, how long did your greasy phase last and how greasy was your hair? I’m a blonde, so it’s REALLY easy to see grease in my hair, and it looked dirty every single day – so bad that I couldn’t go to work like that. I’m so impressed that you stuck it out!! Now I’m actually using a castile soap/aloe vera mixture and gradually mixing that into my traditional chemical shampoo to make a smooth transition. Thanks for all your tips, though!!! The boiled water makes sense – maybe I’ll try that for future mixtures!! Thanks for reading!

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