Pardon me, but I can’t seem to get a grip

Hopefully my skin will be as soft as these little guys with my homemade lotion!

Body Lotion Recipe at a glance:

  • 5tbs aloe vera juice
  • 3tbsp water
  • 6tbsp olive oil
  • 6tbsp coconut oil
  • 2 tbsp beeswax

And now from the “as if I haven’t heard that before” file: I’ve got grease issues.

One thing that’s really super important to remember about oil is that it will make things greasy.  In fact, it will make anything greasy – French fries, vegetables, pasta, hands, hair, what have you.

Well, it’s not my hair this time – my latest crush, Dr. Bronner, has that grease issue under control for the time being (Hallelujah!).  This time, it’s my hands (and, subsequently, anything I touch) that have grease issues.

Now, I want you to know, I researched this one, people.  I really did.  And here are a few things you’ll want to know about lotion (whether you’re crazy enough to try my recipe is up to you):

So taking in all of these tips and tricks, I made a few conclusions of my own.

  • A standard recipe for homemade lotion contains a liquid oil, a solid oil, beeswax and water.  (And I added Aloe Vera Juice.)
  • A standard recipe for homemade lotion calls for (basically) melting the oils and beeswax in a double boiler of sorts, letting those ingredients cool, pouring the oil into the water and mixing vigorously.

The recipe I used was adapted from some basic instructions for Aloe lotion It was exciting, let me tell you.  The amazing part is that once the oils are melted, you’re left with all liquid ingredients.  Well, that isn’t so amazing, but what is amazing is that those liquid ingredients combine and form a soft solid!  I must admit, I had my doubts that all the liquids in front of me would actually form something similar to lotion, but with the right amount of enthusiastic whisking, they did!  The finished product has a consistency like partially melted butter.

I was fairly amazed (obviously this whole lotion experiment was just all-around amazing to me) at how simple it is to actually make homemade lotion.  Of course, this shouldn’t have surprised me; all the websites I visited just gushed about how easy and fun lotion-making is.  What they don’t tell you: Using your homemade lotion is the hard part.

So I’m not going to say that my homemade lotion was a failure, but it definitely needs some tweaking.  First of all, it’s quite greasy.  When I put it on, my hands had a shine like I’d been making butter cookies, and they were a bit slippery.  The shine and slickness did go away eventually, but by this time I had managed to oil up my hair a bit, slide off a few handrails, slip right over a doorknob I was trying to open and put a good number of fingerprints on my sunglasses.

The other issue I have with my beauty cream is that it is a rather unappetizing mustardy-green color.  I have a feeling this comes from mixing the golden-brown beeswax with the green olive oil.  Largely an aesthetic complaint, but it could affect morale in the long-run.

Perhaps more research will yield another recipe for a lighter, less greasy lotion.  Or perhaps Mother Nature has a sense of humor and there will be no escaping oil with homemade, natural lotion.  I wouldn’t be surprised – grease seems to be my lot in life these days.  But one word to you, Mother Nature: You don’t amuse me.

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4 thoughts on “Pardon me, but I can’t seem to get a grip

  1. The little bit of your lotion i tried this morning didn’t seem to be greasy for a long time although it was only on the back of my hand and i didn’t have to open a door. My hands could sure use some really extreme moisture. I wasn’t crazy about the smell but if you can get this lotion to smell like vanilla, even I’d be willing to make friends with mother nature long enough to fix my hangnails and cracks ( they really hurt). Keep working on it. D

    • Well you’d hate what my first batch smells like now….salsa. I put it in an old salsa jar that I washed out (but clearly not enough). BUT I’ll let you try my second batch tomorrow – I think it’s better!! It just smells neutral, though, despite the vanilla I added.

  2. I will definitely try some of your lotion!!! By the sounds of it I will be sliding and gliding as I move around the house but that might actually be a more efficient manner of movement – especially while dusting!!! And then when I need to go out into the real world – perhaps little white gloves could make a comeback this spring . Haven’t worn them since I was a kid at Eastertime – so maybe we could start a new fashion trend!!!

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