Mother Nature is Not a Dentist (and a variety of tales from the bathroom sink)

Perhaps this is the correct brushing technique….

I realize that I’m skating on fairly thin ice with Mother Nature right now.  At any given moment, she’s going to tell me that if I think she was put on this Earth to make my life easier, then I’ve got another think coming.

However, I must address the elephant in the room: I have a canker sore.  You know – one of those annoying little bumps on the inside of your mouth that makes it almost impossible to carry on.  Apparently, some people are more prone to these little buggers than others, and sometimes the cause can be linked to a parent who is also prone.  The tiny bumps are not harmful, and you barely even know that they’re there, unless of course you’re one of those people who like to talk and eat and brush their teeth – otherwise, you won’t even know they’re there.

If you happen to be one of the unfortunates among us who is prone to canker sores, then what I have to say could be disturbing.  I have been dealing with a particularly painful and incredibly hardy bump on the tip of my tongue for almost a week now.  (If you’re not one of the unfortunates, then just assume that I said I sliced the tip of my tongue open with a razor blade.)

But what does any of this have to do with Mother Nature?  Well, I have it on good authority that one of the causes of canker sores is toothpaste.  No, I did not make that up to give my all natural cause a boost (even though it really needs one, since the only thing I’ve got working 100% is my deodorant, and even that has had some sweat breakthroughs recently).  Apparently, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or SLS, which is found in most traditional brands of toothpaste, is a highly abrasive detergent and can lead to canker sores.

So here I am – several weeks into brushing my teeth with natural SLS-free toothpaste that tastes like a gulp of theAtlantic– and I’ve got a canker sore!  What gives, Mother Nature?  Oh, that’s right – I’m not brushing my teeth with a twig, so I’m not completely natural yet.  Well, then I’ll have to suffer, because I’m not quite ready to go there.

Not to mention, based on my calculations, I’m paying about the same amount to get canker sores with natural toothpaste as I did with traditional toothpaste.  Seriously, Mother Nature – can you not do me a solid once in a while? (To which she likely responds: “I haven’t made your hair fall out yet, have I?”  Cue an evil laugh.)

This little guy has pretty clean teeth, and he’s using a stick!

I spend about $0.36/oz on natural toothpaste and about $0.34/oz on traditional toothpaste.

Store-bought:

  • Crest Regular Paste (8.2 oz) – $2.78
  • TOTAL (8.2 oz) – $2.78

Homemade:

  • Coconut oil (16 oz) – $12.19
  • Hydrogen Peroxide (16oz) – $0.69
  • Baking Soda (16 oz) – $0.54
  • Peppermint Extract (1 oz) – $4.19
  • TOTAL (49 oz) – $17.61

Perhaps it just takes a little while for one’s mouth to adjust to a non-SLS lifestyle and one will still suffer from sores during the transition period; I will keep tabs on that.  Of course, one of the other causes of canker sores is stress, and we all know how my stress works now that I’ve gone all-natural: From the hair down.  So once again, we’re back to the same old foolproof solution that could cure all my natural woes.  I just need to chop my hair off.

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6 thoughts on “Mother Nature is Not a Dentist (and a variety of tales from the bathroom sink)

  1. Although I am far from an authority on your natural products – I am quite well acquainted with you personally – and based on what I have witnessed lately I would say that any canker sore you have encountered in the last – oh – month or so – would be the direct result of STRESS – not any chemical or non chemical product. Like I said – just my humble opinion. Hope you feel better and LOVE the pups!!!

  2. MNM – so sorry to hear of your latest woe. I too am a chronic sufferer of mouth ulcers and I agree they are VERY painful – almost a close second to natural childbirth! In addition to stress, diet is also a contributer, especially acidic things – citrus fruits and TOMATOES (think you’ve been ingesting tomatoe juice pretty regularly as part of your deoderant regime). One would think the peroxide, which is part of your toothpaste, would help in prevention since that is also part of a suggested treatment (dilute peroxide, water, baking soda and salt and swish). Other suggestions for relief until it clears include various topicals (all of which I think you may have in your MNM arsenal: aloe vera, a damp tea bag, or 1 drop of tea tree oil. Finally…. I suggest staying clear of replacing your toothbrush with a twig – you might scratch your gums!
    Hope you feel better!

  3. I am afraid this blog is not going to be good for your love life with all the talk of greasy hair, sweaty pitts and mouth sores.

  4. I know how canker sores can hurt too, my dentist told me they were due to menopause, of course i don’t believe him, however, i’ve had some problems with an infected taste bud now and then…..and as bad as this might sound, my husband assures me that all you need to do is bite them off. I’ve tried it, it initially hurts really bad but almost immediately the pain subsides. I think he really knows something….ha! As for the canker sores…. i think they are more aggrivated with acidic foods, such as salad dressing, tomatoes…etc. I really don’t think they are caused by toothpaste. Actually, stress could be the cause, lord knows I’ve had plenty of that lately, especially this week alone….

    • Oh dear – biting a canker sore sounds like pouring salt in a wound. I don’t know if I have the strength for that, but I’ll let you know if I can handle it next time I have one!! And I’m definitely in agreement with the stress-theory. I bet my hair problems were causing me to get the canker sore…..my hair will stop at nothing to make my life miserable!!! Haha Thanks for reading!!!!!

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