Mother Nature and I don’t always see eye-to-eye. Probably due to the following:
- Sometimes she makes me feel like I sweat more profusely than the half-ton man hiking the Appalachian Trail.
- When she offers me a drink, she always pours tomato juice…and never includes the vodka.
- She told me about this great all-natural perfume, but failed to mention that it would cost $50 and I’d have to make it myself. Thanks for the tip.
All of these things Mother Nature has done to me, and yet she still expects me to buy her a two-month birthday gift, as if she’s been doing me a huge favor this whole time. (But, hey, at least she doesn’t insist on calling it our anniversary!) Well, News Flash, Mother Nature: That box of Happy Birthday chocolates was really just me trying to butter you up in the hopes that these next four months will go more swimmingly than the first two.
Ok, so it was a gift? I may not celebrate anniversaries, but I’m a total sucker for birthdays. And last Saturday marked MNM’s second birthday! Of course, it’s kindof my birthday, too; after all, I put the Maid in Mother Nature’s Maid. Plus, celebrating birthdays is part of being friends, and I like to think of Mother Nature as a friend who just happens to be on a rather nightmarish journey with me through the depths of homemade hell.
In all honesty, though, I must admit that, as much as I like to chide Mother Nature for letting me sweat and making my hair greasy, the journey hasn’t really been ALL nightmarish. Now I know I’m no wise and seasoned expert, but looking back on just these first two months, I’m amazed at how much I’ve learned about natural personal care.
You really don’t want to be stuck next to me in the grocery store check out, because if there is any available opportunity, I will strike up a conversation about the pH scale or the benefits of Aloe Vera Juice. No, seriously, this happened.
Earlier in the first month of this experiment, I had just given up my TRESemmé for what is now largely accepted as a failed attempt at baking soda shampoo. I was in the grocery store checkout, and the woman behind me happens to have in her basket a sizeable carton of coconut milk. Positively providential!
“Are you going to drink that?” I ask.
Silence. Followed by a suspicious sideways glance. Followed by,
“Don’t worry,” I laugh reassuringly. “I don’t want any. I was just wondering – did you know you can use that on your hair as a deep conditioner?”
“Is this what you use on” (her eyes travel to my scalp) “your hair?”
“Yes! I’m making my own beauty products for six months, and I just made conditioner!”
“Hm, yea, I’m gonna stick to drinking it. I was just wondering – did you know your hair is greasy?”
“Oh, yea, I know…Mother Nature’s Maid – Don’t forget!”
It’s been a fun, if trying, journey so far, Mother Nature. Here’s wishing the both of us many happy returns.