If you’re paying too much for chapstick, you should stop buying chapstick. But how do you know if you are paying too much for chapstick? Let me put it this way: If you’re buying chapstick from a store, you’re paying too much.
“Ok,” you’re thinking. “So I stop buying chapstick from the store. Now my lips hurt real bad. Thanks a lot, MNM.”
Well, guess what, Little Maids? MNM has a natural solution for that!
I’m one of those people who has chapstick in every orifice of her life: in my purse, in my desk, in my glove compartment, in my backpack, in my jacket pockets. Trust me, you do not want to be on my contact list when I’ve forgotten my chapstick somewhere, because I’ll be on the phone quicker than Napoleon Dynamite. I’ve gotten birthday gifts that consisted solely of Burt’s Bees in varying flavors. I love chapstick. And my lips settle for nothing less than the best.
I’m fairly certain that homemade chapstick, had it been as difficult to master as – say – shampoo, could have been MNM’s Waterloo. I can deal with sweaty pits, greasy hair and oily lotion, and I’ll laugh in the face of set-in sweat stains, but you cannot ask me to live without chapstick. That is something that affects my daily life, people, and I will not settle for sub-par lip balm. Talk about an obstacle – that’s a hardship the size of the Great Wall of China.
Fortunately, with just five ingredients and about 15 minutes, you can whip yourself up some homemade lip balm that’s all-natural, moisturizing and much cheaper than store-bought. I was so surprised at these per-ounce prices, that I had to quadruple-check my math this time.
- Burt’s Bees Lip Balm (0.15 oz): $2.97
- TOTAL (0.15 oz): $2.97
- PER OZ: $19.80/oz
- Beeswax (16 oz): $9
- Coconut Oil (16 oz): $12.19
- Olive Oil (16 oz): $5.44
- Beets (16oz): $2
- TOTAL (64 oz): $28.63
- PER OZ: $0.45/oz
Once again, I know what you’re thinking: “Am I really supposed to take advice on homemade lip balm from this crack pot who brushes her teeth with baking soda?”
Well, I’m proud to say that after shoving this recipe literally in the faces of 14 of my family members at a cookout this weekend, my lip balm got rave reviews all-around. My cousin Samantha even took a helping home with her!
At first I considered the possibility that they were all just being nice, but then I remembered: It’s my family – they have to tell me the truth. After all, everyone has been so honest about my deodorant experiment. Like, there was that time last week when I rode home from my brother’s graduation lashed to the bed of my cousin’s pick-up truck. There’s honesty for you.