My most-paralyzing phobia is, obviously, excessive perspiration (and the dread of possible accompanying body odor). After that – and aside from spiders – I would have to say that my second most-paralyzing phobia is probably the sun.
“But, MNM,” you say. “Why would you ever be afraid of the sun? Are you irrational?”
Well, obviously, I’m irrational, but that’s beside the point. As it turns out, Little Maids, MNM is (how can I put this gently?) pale. Honestly, I’m pastier than Elmer’s Glue. At two years old, my mother once misplaced me; she was halfway down the street when a neighbor asked why she had a pillow in her stroller. At 16, I wore a white dress to my prom and got thrown out for indecency. Last year I painted my face and arms white for a polar bear Halloween costume and people asked why I didn’t dress up. I’m not kidding – I have pasty, pasty pale skin.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’m sure you can imagine why even the slightest hint of sun sends chills right down my spine. You might say I’ve been burned. I’ve been so burned I could fry an egg on my stomach. So burned I’ve gone to bed in pajamas and woken up in a pile of ash.
Needless to say, I’ve always been a fan of sunscreen. Not only do I need more sun protection than an albino rat, but I swoon at just the mere whiff of sun tan lotion. I tend to be a Coppertone gal myself, but I’m also partial to the well-formulated scent of Water Babies. Somehow, these sunscreen companies have managed to bottle the beach, and it is amazing.
So when I read an article from Dr. Mercola about the potential dangers of traditional sunscreen, I’m not going to lie – I had a break down. As we all know, one of the sun’s most important benefits is Vitamin D, and apparently most traditional sunscreen actually blocks your skin’s production of Vitamin D (not to mention, many sunscreens contain questionable chemicals).
So, once again, Mother Nature has pulled me – kicking and screaming, no less – away from yet another of my most treasured fragrances. However, I am quite excited about my homemade sunscreen – it looks so (how should I put this?) normal! Here’s the recipe I used:
- 2oz Zinc Oxide (I bought “Zinc Oxide Ointment” for dressing wounds, etc. You can also use diaper rash cream)
- 2 tbsp Coconut Oil
- 1.5 tsp Aloe Vera Gel
- 2 tsp Green Tea
- 1 tsp Bees Wax
- 20 drops Jojoba Oil
- 20 drops Vitamin E Oil
I’ve heard from certain sources that zinc oxide does not rub into skin very well, and at first I was worried that I would look like a beached Narwhal at Ocean City this summer. But luckily, with my pasty skin, no one should be able to tell the difference.