What’s Your SPF?

My most-paralyzing phobia is, obviously, excessive perspiration (and the dread of possible accompanying body odor).  After that – and aside from spiders – I would have to say that my second most-paralyzing phobia is probably the sun.

“But, MNM,” you say.  “Why would you ever be afraid of the sun?  Are you irrational?”

Well, obviously, I’m irrational, but that’s beside the point.  As it turns out, Little Maids, MNM is (how can I put this gently?) pale.  Honestly, I’m pastier than Elmer’s Glue.  At two years old, my mother once misplaced me; she was halfway down the street when a neighbor asked why she had a pillow in her stroller.  At 16, I wore a white dress to my prom and got thrown out for indecency.  Last year I painted my face and arms white for a polar bear Halloween costume and people asked why I didn’t dress up.  I’m not kidding – I have pasty, pasty pale skin.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m sure you can imagine why even the slightest hint of sun sends chills right down my spine.  You might say I’ve been burned.  I’ve been so burned I could fry an egg on my stomach.  So burned I’ve gone to bed in pajamas and woken up in a pile of ash.

Needless to say, I’ve always been a fan of sunscreen.  Not only do I need more sun protection than an albino rat, but I swoon at just the mere whiff of sun tan lotion.  I tend to be a Coppertone gal myself, but I’m also partial to the well-formulated scent of Water Babies.  Somehow, these sunscreen companies have managed to bottle the beach, and it is amazing.

So when I read an article from Dr. Mercola about the potential dangers of traditional sunscreen, I’m not going to lie – I had a break down.  As we all know, one of the sun’s most important benefits is Vitamin D, and apparently most traditional sunscreen actually blocks your skin’s production of Vitamin D (not to mention, many sunscreens contain questionable chemicals).

So, once again, Mother Nature has pulled me – kicking and screaming, no less – away from yet another of my most treasured fragrances.  However, I am quite excited about my homemade sunscreen – it looks so (how should I put this?) normal!  Here’s the recipe I used:

  • 2oz Zinc Oxide (I bought “Zinc Oxide Ointment” for dressing wounds, etc.  You can also use diaper rash cream)
  • 2 tbsp Coconut Oil
  • 1.5 tsp Aloe Vera Gel
  • 2 tsp Green Tea
  • 1 tsp Bees Wax
  • 20 drops Jojoba Oil
  • 20 drops Vitamin E Oil

I’ve heard from certain sources that zinc oxide does not rub into skin very well, and at first I was worried that I would look like a beached Narwhal at Ocean City this summer.  But luckily, with my pasty skin, no one should be able to tell the difference.


13 thoughts on “What’s Your SPF?

  1. Love the pix – did you pull an old photo from George/Pa/Gramps’ stash?? lol
    Did you give this a trial run before hitting the shore for Senior Weekend? Either way – Have fun at the beach trying out your new MNM sunscreen – might want to bring an OTC bottle as a back up just in case (certainly not because yours won’t work – in case you run out of your home made)!

    • Haha – can’t say I ever remember looking as good as any of these lovely bathing beauties – even on my best day – back in “olden times!!!” But you’re younger so your memory isn’t shot like mine .

  2. You do yourself a disservice by saying you have pasty pale skin. I believe Scarlett would have said she had the lovely magnolia white complexion of a beautiful southern belle or maybe a Georgia white flesh peach or perhaps the soft shade of one of her mother’s white linen and lace doilies. See – it’s all perspective!!! I personally think you have quite a lovely skin tone !!! Good luck with the new sunscreen but keep some Water Babies handy this weekend – beach sun is altogether different . Save the new sun lotion for the milder sun on this side of the Bay Bridge!!! Have fun “downey oshun!!!”

  3. You know – this got me thinking and even though I am not blonde like you – I am also very pale and I remember always being self conscious growing up – especially of my legs in summer. Those darn things were so white and would constantly burn and peel but never tan . Somebody once told me my legs were so white you could show home movies on them!!! Can’t remember who the heck that was anymore !!! But at least that is one benefit of getting older – don’t have to worry over my white legs in summer anymore cause I wouldn’t be caught dead in shorts outside the house now. Talk about indecent exposure – I’d be arrested for disturbing the peace if these babies ever saw the light of day!!! So from one paleface to another – it isn’t worth worrying over. You are lovely – just the way you are!!! Love ya dear Maid –

    • Hahahaha So now I know where I get my pale skin from! Although I don’t appreciate you passing on that gene for pale skin that sunburns something terrible, it’s always nice to have a partner in crime! And yes – there definitely comes a time when you no longer care about how pale your skin is – it goes the way of the name brand clothes you cared about in high school! lol

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