Just Shut Up and Eat Some Karo Syrup

Let’s be honest: We all know at least one person who annoys the very crap out of us.  Well, if we’re being honest, we all probably know quite a few people who annoy the very crap out of us.  Heck, if we’re really being honest, then we all probably know more people who annoy the very crap out of us than people we can actually stand being around (let alone people we might enjoy being around).

There’s the over-eager political pundit, the Facebook fanatic, the “my child is the cutest thing since the teacup pig” new parent, the crazy horse girl (ok, we’ve gone too far – that one’s kindof me).

How often have you wished you could just shut these people up once and for all without ending up in court?  Well, don’t worry: MNM has a natural solution for that.  It’s called Karo Syrup, and it doesn’t even involve assault charges.

Just fill an old lip gloss container with this stuff – it’s clear, thick, available at WalMart and has enough sugar to put a good furry moss on your teeth if ingested (but don’t worry – it’s completely edible!).  It is incredibly glossy, but offer it to your annoying friend, and she’ll have her lips screwed shut tighter than a child safety seal on a medicine bottle.  And voila – you can thank me later, when you’re not watching a narrated slideshow of the one-month anniversary party she threw for herself and her boyfriend at Red Lobster.

While this is an ingenious product and highly marketable, I would not recommend it for yourself.  Real talk: straight Karo Syrup will feel soft and silky on your lips at first, but it quickly (inside of 5 minutes) gets stickier than a licked lollipop.  For your own personal use, I would suggest mixing the Karo with an oil, like grapeseed or olive, to lubricate the gloss.

Here’s what I’m using for lip gloss:

  • 3 parts Karo Syrup
  • 1 part Olive Oil

I’ve mixed it all into an old lip gloss container, but I bet you could also use the two individually (Karo topped with oil).

For a bit of color, I was tipped off about a recipe by Pemberley Jones, an all-natural beauty and skincare blogger.  Her lip color secret: Beet juice.  I first tried it mixed with grapeseed oil, which gave me a nice gloss but no color.  Straight beet juice, however, gives you more color, and you can always gloss it up with your Karo Syrup concoction.

Just don’t wear white while you’re putting it on, or you’ll end up looking like you were brought up on assault charges, after all.

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6 thoughts on “Just Shut Up and Eat Some Karo Syrup

  1. “Shut these people up once and for all without ending up in court” – had me chuckling to myself – cause you are so right – we all know them!!! Do you dream these analogies up or are they all leftovers from the SAT’s??? Quite a funny post this morning – and everyone can relate. Haven’t we all sat thru (or – uh – narrated – ) a few of those slide shows? But – of course – my babies WERE cuter than teacup pigs!!! Thanks for the morning laughs!!!

    • HAHA good old SAT analogies….how could I forget those?? Some of my favorite brain teasers of the whole test, aside from my eternal favorite – the math portion!!! I’m trying a new spin on this recipe today, which will (hopefully) take out the stickiness and add some lasting quality….cross your fingers! Glad you could relate! But, really, as you said….who can’t???

  2. The “over-eager political pundit”? I think you and I both know who you’re thinking of…at least I hope I do.

    I feel like I would lick this lip gloss right off! Is it tasty like our old strawberry lipsmackers?

    • LOL – YES you have it right!! (if I’m still thinking of who you’re thinking of…) hahaha And yea, I find myself just eating the lip gloss…not such a great look. But like I just told my mom, I’m attempting a new lip gloss recipe today, so hopefully it works better!! PS – do you still have any lipsmackers?? I’d kill for some of that sparkly berry!! So….classy…. hahaha

    • Let’s be honest, about 20% of this stuff comes from my daily life, and the other 80% comes from our family gatherings. Aren’t you excited to see what I have to say about you?! hahaha

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