Well this is gross. Last week, I had difficulties with homemade liquid soap that had the consistency of split pea soup – in other words, not an appetizing body wash. Then on Friday, I got a whole new set of difficulties when I tried to thicken the concoction by adding more soap and more glycerin. The difficulty? My “thickened” soap had the consistency of dog slobber … or snot. In any case, I’d rather not slather either on my skin. But guess what? I did.
Of course I did – I’m Mother Nature’s Maid. I’ve endured much fouler and more maddening hardships than slobbery, snotty body wash. All things considered, this issue was a rather pleasant one – at least it smelled like Sweet Orange (thanks to Dr. Bronner’s and some essential oil).
I keep the soap in a small squeeze bottle and apply with a washcloth. When it comes out of the bottle, it doesn’t look immediately dreadful – in fact, it’s an innocent-looking pearly white … like shark’s teeth. You can find out that this is not your average body wash in one of two ways: Either you touch it (revealing a slippery, coagulated, semi-gelatinous mucous-like consistency) or you release your grip on the bottle (in which case every last drop of soap on your washcloth will be sucked back up in one long syrupy string like a strand of spaghetti). This stuff is so gooey it’s like some malicious potion at Willy Wonka’s – you practically need a pair of scissors to sever it.
Once it’s on your washcloth, it’s quite pleasant to use, assuming you can get past the unnerving idea that you’re washing with mucous. With more bar soap and glycerin added to the mix, the recipe has more suds (still not as much as conventional soap) and a pleasant scent. However, I have plans to try something that may prove a bit more successful. After all, if all I wanted was dog slobber, I have a much more readily available (and much more cuddly) source than this concoction.
A friend showed me this recipe for homemade body wash from the Little Seed Farm blog. My current body wash may be useable, but it’s still not my cup of tea … or dog slobber … or snot.