Bad news all: I’m itchy. But not only am I itchy, I’m also red, blotchy and peeling. Yup – I’ve got sunburn. And how!
There are some people in this world who can sit out in the sun for a few hours without sunscreen and not even crack a burn. Yea, I’m not one of those people. In fact, I’m the opposite of one of those people. If one of those people was Friday night, I’d be Monday morning – a less fun version of the same thing. If I sit out in the sun for a minute without an SPF of 50 or above, I look like a sun-dried tomato.
Last weekend, I went to Ocean City for my friend Kati’s bachelorette party, which meant nearly two full days of direct sunlight. Sure I took a chemical SPF with me in my bag; but did I use it? Of course not! I’m Mother Nature’s Maid; I’ve put vinegar in my hair and corn starch under my arms. You think a little zinc oxide sunscreen scares me? I laugh in the face of danger (and alternative personal care solutions).
But I wasn’t laughing on Monday morning, when I looked in the mirror to see that my skin actually was as ablaze as it had felt all through the restless night. I was burned to a crisp, and my skin was hotter than the hinges of hell.
I’m not quite sure what it was that made my homemade sunscreen fail this time. After all, at my first beach outing several months ago, my MNM sunblock worked superbly well on the palest of pale skin. But this time things weren’t quite as superb. Perhaps it was because I spent two days in the sun, rather than just one. Perhaps it was because I failed to reapply after swimming (I highly doubt that my brew has waterproof properties). Perhaps it was because (gulp) my sunscreen just doesn’t work that well.
Whatever the reason, I was definitely not laughing on Monday morning and I haven’t been for the past several days either. Sun-dried tomatoes are never funny.