Let’s assume there are commentators in my kitchen. Three of them sitting at my kitchen table. One of them knows nothing but has a killer broadcast voice, another is too perky and qualifies everything with “you bet,” and the final one makes me out to be totally inept in the kitchen (and happens to be a ruthless realist). And let’s assume that these commentators call my homemade soap-making like Olympic gymnastics.
This is what my kitchen would have sounded like the first time I tried to make bodywash:
#1: She’s looking great out there, isn’t she guys?
#2: You bet! She is not looking confident grating that soap, and that glycerin spill will cost her a tenth of a point.
#3: Well this recipe has a level of difficulty of just 15.25. Just three ingredients? I guess that’s all MNM can handle. She’s adding glycerin, but it can’t save this soap.
#2: You bet! My guess is she’s overcompensating for the initial wateriness of her bodwash, but she’s going the way of dog slobber here.
#1: I think it looks great!
Last night, when I tried a new recipe, it sounded like this:
#1: Am I seeing things or is this a whole new MNM out there? Seriously – someone’s cooking for her – is this allowed?
#3: No one’s cooking for her, and you should go back to elementary school for a good year.
#2: You bet! All we can say is – she looks great out there! Measuring those ingredients with a sharp eye and pouring with a steady hand. Just look how she’s handling that Guar Gum!
#3: She is looking sharp, but she could screw it up here by missing the “immediately” in Step 4. Let’s keep in mind all those past failures she’s had.
#2: She’ll get a medal this time – you bet!
I did get a medal – a gold medal. A pearly liquid-gold medal, and it’s sitting in my shower in a recycled Dr. Bronner’s container. Seriously, people – I won this time. I love this bodywash. I slightly tweaked a recipe from Little Seed Farm to get this:
- 1 Tbs steel cut oats
- 1 tea bag (I used Chamomile)
- 1 c. distilled water
- 10 drops lavender or tea tree essential oil
- 1 Tbs coconut oil
- 1tbsp grapeseed oil
- 1 Tbsp honey
- 1-1/4c liquid castile soap (I used Dr Bronner’s)
- 1/4c aloe vera gel
- 1 tsp guar gum
Sometimes I miss the dog slobber, and maybe I’ll go back one day…if I can make it in gold.