A Good Friend is Hard To Find

“I like people who make me like them.  Saves me so much trouble forcing myself to like them.”

 – Anne of Green Gables, the film

Milo & Otis

A few years ago, I came home in a frenzy over a girl I know.

“She only thinks about herself – she’s terrible,” I complained.  “I hate her.”

“Let her have a good piece of your mind,” my mother said.

“Cut her off – just don’t talk to her,” my brother suggested.

I stared at them both as if they had just suggested that I feed this girl to a pack of hungry dingoes.

“I couldn’t do that!”

“Why not?  You just said you hate her!”

“I may hate her,” I avowed, “but she’s my friend.”

Why are we friends with people?  Think of all the so-called “friends” you have on Facebook.  I have 486.  Of those “friends,” much of the first half I barely know or (worse) can’t remember how I even made their acquaintances in the first place.  Of those who are identifiable, about half simply annoy me with their incessant status updates.  Honestly, we haven’t spoken in years, and through the artificial filter of Facebook, I find myself hard-pressed to feel actual emotion when presented with your “epic battle with the flu” or “amazing dinner with yummy fresh asparagus.”

So I’m not completely enamored with everyone I know.  Who is?  Let’s be honest, how often do you run into someone at the grocery store or the gym and think, “Yes!  I can’t wait to spend 10 minutes catching up with This Person!”  Of course, it’s easiest to walk briskly by and extend only a warm smile, but nine times out of 10, we get caught in the quicksand of small talk, like some undertow of wasted time.  How much small talk is there in this world?  Better yet – how much is just enough to be polite?  And why does this always happen to me when I’m in a hurry?

Maybe I’m a terrible person to feel this way, but if my time is limited on this earth, I’d rather not spend it in the Ladies’ Room at a local bar idly chatting with It’s So Good To See You, who recently honeymooned in Acapulco and “thinks she’ll consider Duke for her masters.”  I’d rather spend my time with people I enjoy.

But even if we don’t always enjoy them or don’t enjoy them at all anymore, there are certain people in our lives who just deserve more from us.  People who tell us the truth about our haircuts.  People who quote our favorite movies to us in the middle of class.  People who have awkward photos of us taped up in their kitchen.  People who lend us pajamas and have some of our socks in their closet.  People who we’ve shared deodorant with…and toothpaste and razors.  People who put on Backstreet Boys dance concerts in the basement with us.

These are the people who we’ll call friends for the rest of our lives, whether we remain close or grow apart; whether we share daily conversations or only memories.  Even if we no longer send birthday cards.  Even if we have a careless falling out.  Even if we walk away vowing that we hate each other.  Someday someone will ask me how I know you, and I will answer:

“She’s a good friend.  I may hate her, but she’s a good friend.”

Read more of Rachel’s Weekly Ruminations

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12 thoughts on “A Good Friend is Hard To Find

  1. This is so timely…Andrew and I were just talking about the same thing the other day…Facebook “friends” and the merits (or lack there of) of making small talk with people you haven’t seen in years or at parties where you will probably never see the person again.

    • So glad you enjoyed and found it pertinent!!! Thanks for reading! It’s so true though – think of all the things you do for people you don’t like and will never see again … just to keep up appearances! haha

  2. I totally agree. We all have so many “character building” relationships in life but the number of true friends – relatively few. So glad to see RWR is up and running again. I’ve missed it –

  3. Found your blog yesterday while trying to find a honest blog’s about “no poo”… Fell in love with your blog & now find myself a bit sad that there is no “next ” button to hit 😦

    Your posts about the perils of no poo are amazing (sorry I know it wasn’t amazing when it was happening TO you) so may others are blah blah couple of “grease days ” but over all its just wonderful … Yet no pics to make me believe ! So refreshing to read about how its not always so peachy

    • Thank you so much for reading!!! I’m glad my blog could help you out – did you decide to go through with No Poo?? Although it did not work for me, I think it is more effective on different kinds of hair! However, I also found what you found in researching No Poo – so many sunshiney stories!! I felt like I actually had to HUNT DOWN any documentation about No Poo “problems.”

      It DEFINITELY was not peachy for me, as you can see! hahaha So glad you enjoyed – thanks 🙂

      PS – I do wish I had taken pictures of those greasy days for the blog, but unfortunately I didn’t think of it at the time, and now those days are gone (and hopefully gone forever!!!). Perhaps I will go No Poo again for a week just to take some photos for posterity……

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