Stories from Hairspray Nation (circa 1995)

There are a few things you learn when you spray lemon juice on your hair for a week (find out more about my all-natural lightening treatment HERE).  For one thing, you learn which bees sting and which ones don’t.  For another, as your hair lightens, you begin to see how blondes really go through life (Omigod – wai-wai-wai-wai-wait…which side of the road am I supposed to be on again??).  And finally, you figure out that lemon juice is a better sealant than duct tape, which brings me to my next point.

In this day and age, hair spray is not nearly as prevalent as it once was.  Or perhaps it is just not as prevalent in the same quantities.  Going from the helmet hair styles of the 1960s to the electrical socket shock styles of the 1980s was like jumping from the frying pan right into the fire.  And then where did that leave us?  Oh, right – the vast wasteland of off-the-mark fashion attempts and bizarre styles that we call “the 90s.”

But let’s not jump to conclusions about hair spray.  Yes, it gave us the beehive and “big hair,” and it made possible teasing and Billy Ray Cyrus’ mullet, but it still has merits.  What’s the first hair product you reach for on a rainy day?  Probably hair spray.  The best way to fight humidity is with an invisible hat.

But if you’re making that invisible hat out of commercial hairspray, chances are you’re getting some chemicals.  According to Dr. Mercola, products like hair sprays contain chemicals called phthalates, which have been linked to reproductive and developmental problems.  Maybe that’s why I always feel the need to spray as if I’m pulling the pin on a grenade – cover my face, close my eyes, pull the trigger and run out of the room.

But I may be out of the war zone with this natural hairspray recipe:

  • 1 cup water
  • 2 oz lemon juice
  • 3 oz vodka
  • Bring water to a boil and simmer.  Add the lemon juice and allow it to simmer until nearly half is gone.  Add the vodka and continue to simmer for 5-10 minutes.

This recipe is still a work in progress, but I like it so far.  It’s holds well and smells like citrus, not a cocktail.  It also doesn’t discolor my hair or leave behind a sticky residue.  And the best part – it makes my mullet look on point.  

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