Bring your reusable bags, but leave your judgment at the door

I don’t often go to Trader Joe’s, but when I do I never forget my reusable bags.  I made that mistake once.  I haven’t been judged that hard in a grocery store checkout since I walked through Walmart with three jugs of Margarita mix and two jars of baby food, explaining to the two young mothers behind me that I’m not throwing crazy parties with a baby in the house, I just like to use the Gerber containers to hold deodorant.

So one day I’m standing in line at Trader Joe’s with a load of Dr. Bronner’s, natural toasted oat bran, organic coconut milk and Trader Potato Tots.  I’ve got everything on the conveyor belt and the cute beard-and-bandana hipster behind me has just nodded in approval of my oat bran.  I smile back at his stone ground wheat crackers.  Then suddenly the cashier asks,

“Miss – did you have sustainable grocery bags you’d like me to use?”

“Yes I have th-”

I turn back to my basket: No bags.  The Hawaiian-shirted cashier pulls his dreads into a ponytail and sighs.  Two girls with REI backpacks walk by, and one gestures to her burlap grocery bag whispering “she forgot.”  In one sweeping motion, Beard-And-Bandana-Boy moves his groceries several inches away from mine on the conveyor belt and motions to the cashier for a separator.  Then he turns to me:

“Reduse, reuse, recycle, my friend.”

“I…I recycle on…my blog.”

And it’s true – I have been all-natural long enough that I can now recycle my recipes.  Take, for example, the face wash I recently made – it’s just another version of my Golden Bodywash.  My liquid body soap was an incredibly successful product, and you know what they say: Don’t mess with success.  Well, I didn’t mess – I just tweaked:

  • 1 TBSP oats
  • 1 green tea bag (green tea is said to fight acne whether used topically or taken orally)
  • ½ C rose water (noted in “Herbal Well-Being” as a great facial product)
  • ½ TBSP coconut oil
  • ½ TBSP olive oil (celebrated as a healthy facial moisturizer and cleanser)
  • ½ TBSP honey (the No. 1 ingredient in my homemade acne wash)
  • ½ TSP guar gum
  • 15 drops tea tree oil (the No. 2 ingredient in my homemade acne wash)
  • 5/8 C Dr. Bronner’s liquid soap (sorry about the bizarre fractions – I halved the recipe)
  • 1/8 C aloe vera gel

This face wash is another wonderful product.  It goes on smooth, lathers thick and washes clean.  Just like my bodywash, there is no filmy/oily residue, and this soap washes quickly off my skin.  The olive oil provides a great moisturizing element, and I bet an additional tablespoon would feel even nicer!  So do a double take, Beard-And-Bandana-Boy, and look who recycles now!!

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6 thoughts on “Bring your reusable bags, but leave your judgment at the door

  1. Smugness is an unattractive quality – even at Trader Joe’s. I’ve never had the courage to venture inside their hallowed doors – never felt worthy. If I’m gonna be judged – let it be at Walmart!!! ( But those Trader Tots do sound yummy!!!)

    Congrats on another successful product!!!

    • Thanks – this product is a good one! And, as you know, I am a staunch Walmart supporter as well! And as many times as I’ve been in Trader Joe’s (perhaps…5 times?), I don’t think I’ve ever even bought anything! haha But they do have some nice hippie products inside!

  2. This article is absolutely hilarious and, as the Brits would say, so spot on. It’s quite an experience observing/interacting with self righteous Gorebots, whose mission in life is seeking approval of other Gorebots and demonstrating their moral superiority over anyone and everyone who falls short of their “environmental standards” for saving mother earth. Yet they all seem enjoy all the benefits that the burning of fossil fuels creates.

    Great job! And great product, too!

    • Why thank you, Auntie Sue! I must say, I am becoming more comfortable with all these products and recipes. I think I might be getting good at this!! Or maybe I’m just far overdue for a BIG failure….hahaha

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