Got nobody to love you on Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, there’s no need to despair! Who needs flowers and gushy Facebook posts and chocolate and stuffed toys? Wait…ok…do the chocolates have caramel in them? And are there any…like…Reese’s Cups among them? And…and the fluffy…is he fat and soft? Is he a dog or a horse? Does he have a name that is way too sophisticated for him? Dang it! I knew it! Ok, fine, you can hold the flowers and the gushy Facebook posts, but fork over those chocolates and the 4-foot stuffed panda that now answers to the name Fitzgerald. So what?? This is just me not despairing.
I know Valentine’s Day may not be your favorite holiday…ok, maybe it’s your least favorite holiday…ok, maybe it’s on your list of things that are way worse than sleep-eating your monthly allowance in Oreo cookies every night. But take heart, there’s always someone who is having a worse V-Day than you.
- Whoever is going through the No ‘Poo grease period. Actually, she is probably having the worst several weeks of her life…V-Day or no V-Day.
- Whoever is paying $80 to tediously make their own perfume. She doesn’t even have money left to buy Trader Joe’s wheat germ to make dinner for her boyfriend.
- Whoever is wearing Tea Tree Oil as perfume. Her boyfriend thinks she smells like a hippie van.
- Whoever is using baking soda as dry shampoo. His girlfriend thinks he has a serious case of dandruff.
- Whoever is not wearing deodorant and is sweating like a pig through dinner. How romantic.
Moral of the story: Mother Nature’s Maid is not the recipe for a happy Valentine’s Day. But I think my prospects are brightening. I just found out that my homemade exfoliator is cheaper than store-bought!
- St. Ives Apricot Scrub (10 oz): $4.87
- PER OUNCE: $0.49/oz
- Oats (18 oz): $2.14
- Sugar (64 oz): $2.89
- Coconut Oil (16 oz): $12.19
- Vitamin E Oil (1 oz): $12.99
- 1 Lemon (1.5 oz): $2.00
- TOTAL (100.5 oz): $32.21
- PER OUNCE: $0.32/oz
Plus, if you take out the Vitamin E Oil (not an essential ingredient) and substitute pre-made lemon juice for the single lemon, the per ounce cost goes down to $0.15/oz. In fact, it’s even simpler to make a single exfoliation treatment out of just a little bit of coconut oil (or your homemade face wash) and some sugar. The original exfoliator recipe does not keep well for more than 24-48 hours anyway, so whipping up simple single doses is probably your best bet, in the end.
So I guess Valentine’s Day was not a total bust. At least it could have been worse…like I could have been on a date with coconut oil in my hair or set-in sweat stench in my jacket or leg hair poking out of my tights…something like that.