Show me your teeth (and start drinking your coffee from a straw)

I don’t have much to say about my tooth whitening recipe, so this will have to be short and sweet.  Literally sweet…after all, my whitener is made of strawberries.  Just make sure you clear the seeds out of your teeth after you’re done with this post.

In the 20-some odd years I’ve had teeth, I’ve probably tried two or three chemical-based whiteners on them, either in the form of toothpaste, gum, or mouthwash.  Each one, I found, had the same outcome.  Was it sparkling white teeth that delighted my friends and dazzled my enemies?  Hardly.  Instead, I always found no change at all.  Why?  Well, I can’t be certain, but it’s most likely because I could never stick to a single whitening regimen for more than a day or two.  (Yea, it seems a pretty open-and-shut case to me, too.)

So did my all-natural Mother Nature’s Maid experiment light a fire in my belly?  Did it get me excited about testing a new whitening product to prove the worth of nature?  Did I rigorously stick to my guns on this one and finally take a whitening treatment farther than a single day?  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  I fell back into my old ways, attempted one treatment and then promptly forgot about the whole thing.  A worthwhile experiment?  Not so much.

But this is what I can say about my natural whitener: In one application, it worked about the same as any chemical-based formulas I’ve tried.  However, it costs about twice as much as my favorite store-bought product.

Store Bought:

  • Listerine Whitener (32 oz): $5.97
  • PER OUNCE: $0.19/oz 


  • Strawberries (16 oz): $2.99
  • Baking Soda (16 oz): $0.54
  • Cream of Tartar (1.5 oz): $3.99
  • TOTAL (33.5 oz): $7.52
  • PER OUNCE: $0.23/oz

Now don’t be silly, of course I realize this doesn’t mean anything.  I didn’t experiment with any of the whitening products long enough to see real results.  But, hey, it’s all I’ve got right now…just this meager review and some yellowed teeth.

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4 thoughts on “Show me your teeth (and start drinking your coffee from a straw)

  1. You get no results because your teeth are already nice and white. You need to go on a daily regimen of morning coffee and red wine after dinner for a decade or two, then try whitening. I bet you would see results then.

    • I’ll take the red wine, but the coffee I can leave. Unless, it’s a caramel frappe….then I’ll have brown teeth and sugar decay. So much for MNM to work on!

  2. Now – this is something I could get behind – if I knew it was gonna work – since the store bought products make my teeth and gums so sensitive that I can’t open my mouth to the air for days after one application. Hey – maybe thats why Daddy is always after me to whiten my teeth!!!

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