Never let them see your face

**Disclaimer: Just one month in, MNM is editing the original Maid Up schedule.  I will be swapping foundation and concealer in the playbook, so that foundation comes first.  Because foundation will likely give rise to a concealer recipe, this exchange seemed logical.  Just agree, and we’ll move on.**  

“every smart girl knows you never let the world see your real face or you’ll never get any dates”

What do you look like?  No, really – what do you actually look like?  Not as in blonde or brunette, tall or short…I mean your face – what does your face look like?

Has anyone ever asked you that?  Probably not.  And rightfully so, I suppose – it’s not the type of question you’d be asked in mixed company.  But there is someone who is wondering what you actually look like…and it’s Mother Nature.

This gigantic B is such a jerk-wad that she’ll make you ‘fess up to your God-given face anytime she feels like it, whether you’re in the middle of an important meeting, shopping at your local farmers market, or admiring that adorable guy in the plaid flannel who was totally smiling at you from across the bar until some spasmodic rando drunkenly dropped his drink all over your face and melted your foundation away like some nightmarish watercolor painting gone wrong!  And now you can totally hear Mother Nature howling with laughter and telling adorable plaid boy, “See what’s hidden behind that mask of clogging, coloring chemicals?  Imperfection!!”

Not that that’s ever happened to me or anything…

The point is, every smart girl knows you never let the world see your real face or you’ll never get any dates!  (Or maybe that’s just me…)  But how do you hide when Mother Nature takes away all the chemicals you’ve held so close to your heart (and over all your blemishes) for so long?  When you’re dealing with Mother Nature, you just fight fire with fire.  When she presents you with chapped skin, smother her in olive oil.  If she scares you with grimy hair, answer with Dr. Bronner’s.  When she lets fly the coconut oil…well, sometimes there’s just not enough fire in the world.  But what about when she strips you of your perfect-toned foundation that hides all your defects and makes people think you actually look normal?

Behold, your new face:

  • Corn Starch
  • Cocoa Powder (pure, 100%)
  • Ground Ginger

Start with a good base of corn starch, then slowly add in the cocoa powder; it’s pretty potent, so if your skin is pastier than paste (like mine), you only need a tad.  This mixture has brown undertones, but I have fair Caucasian skin, so I added a dash of ginger to create a more nude shade (I’ve also heard cinnamon works).  Of course, make sure you know how your skin will react before you slather anything on for the day.

And that’s it!  That’s all it takes to cover up all the horrors your face holds.  I didn’t believe it either, but trust me, it works.  I can’t even recognize myself in the mirror!


6 thoughts on “Never let them see your face

    • That’s actually something (read: the ONLY thing) I miss about Maid Up – smelling like chocolate for the first half of my day. Now if I want to smell like chocolate I have no choice but to eat chocolate, and get pimples, canker sores, irritated taste buds, stomach ulcers…and what else does too much chocolate cause?

  1. Good find but You don’t even need foundation – you are beautiful just the way you are.
    Took an auntie to point that out… gosh what were your parental units thinking!!!

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