Five for Fighting

Because when your makeup looks like this, you know you’re doing it right!

For years I’ve been trying to piece together exactly how someone as awesome as I am could remain dateless for the better part of some 25 years.  I’ve just got so much going for me.  After all, how many people can boast a successful 6-month stint of no deo?  (Ok, “successful” is a relative term.)

People kept telling me, “It’s your face, it’s your face.  You have to do something with your face!”

What’s with my face?  What do I have to do?  What could my face have to do with getting dates?  I just couldn’t see a connection.

Until Mother Nature punched me in the eye.  Now I see it beautifully.  Well, maybe “beautifully” was the wrong word there…because there is nothing beautiful about what I find in my morning mirror.

What I’ve learned from a good fistfight with Mother Nature is that a nice black eye beats a bare eye any day of the week.  After all, a purple bruise may be unsightly, but at least it covers up some of those things that you don’t have going for you.

So what does Mother Nature have to offer in the way of eye makeup?  Well, blueberries, obviously!  Dip a Q-Tip into the melted juice of a frozen blueberry, dust it with some cornstarch, rub it into your skin, and you’ve got a Grade A purple bruisy-looking eye.  Ok, so you’re not into the penalty box look?  I’m not either; it’s just that the blueberry is all I had on hand.  The real point of the experiment is that blueberry juice stains skin!  I first got the idea for frozen fruit makeup from “Easy to be Raw,” and it seems the possibilities are endless.  Blueberry might make you look like you’ve had a run-in with the wrong side of a baseball bat, but imagine strawberry or raspberry.

If you’re looking for more earthy tones (as if anything could be more earthy than fruit…), turn to cocoa powder.  Remember how MNM tackled homemade foundation?  The same principles apply to eye shadow.  Pick the shade you want – it can be anything cocoa powder and lighter (if you want darker than cocoa powder, you might try activated charcoal).  Just mix the cocoa powder with corn starch until you reach your desired shade, and then apply with a Q-Tip.  Spirulina is also touted by hippie bloggers as a natural powder that will produce green shades, if that’s more your style.

Luckily, I don’t use eye shadow every day, because the whole frozen berry rolled in corn starch routine would probably add another 20 minutes to my chemical-based 5-minute-face look.  But trust me, these natural methods will cover up whatever facial oddities are ailing you.  Of course, if all you need is some cover up, you could always try my natural concealer, because that’s been oh so successful.  Or, on second thought, you might be better off just getting punched in the face.


9 thoughts on “Five for Fighting

  1. So that’s why you were asking me what it was that caused the red stain on my shirt. And all this time I thought MNM was working on an all natural way to remove that stain. Guess I’ll just have to take it to your friend from the cleaners who lectured you about sweat stains.

    • HAHA But there are all-natural stain removers!! Baking soda, for example, is supposed to work great! Actually, that gives me an idea…Perhaps my next challenge will be “House Maid,” where MNM finds all-natural alternatives to all your favorite cleaning/household products!!

    • Supposedly activated charcoal is safe! I have to do some more research on it, but I think it will be my best bet for this week’s eyeliner challenge. Although, I’m still interested in the Spirulina, which might somehow work as an eyeliner (I’ve heard it can work as mascara, so it would only make sense that you could apply it as eyeliner as well, right??).

      Also – there is an RWR in the making. It’s been in my head for some time and is just starting to develop into an actual post!

  2. Activated charcoal?? Is that even safe to be used near the eye?

    MNM – I was counting on your trials to produce something to cover my terrible dark under eye circles that have plagued me forever! Or something to make my sparse eyelashes thicker, longer and more voluminous! Or something to pull up the sags and fill in my wrinkles. Or…….

    • Haha – I was also hoping for some good under-eye cover up! But trust me – you do NOT want to use what I’m using as “concealer.” Not only is it not incredibly effective, but it’s downright annoying to use. However – stay tuned and I’ll suggest some homemade lightening remedies! I’ve done some research on permanently lightening under-eye circles with potatoes and lemons, and I may just start trying these remedies rather than struggling through the all-natural concealer.

      • Remedies are definitely better than concealers so keep me posted – I am anxiously awaiting your findings. If potatoes and lemons are as effective on under eye circles as banana peels are on warts I AM IN!

      • And what about those pesky age spots and unwanted facial hair…let’s get our priorities straight here!

  3. I truly love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you build this site yourself?

    Please reply back as I’m planning to create my very own website and would love to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Thank you!

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