Some people just don’t know when to stop. Exhibit A: My family keeps asking when I’m going to bring a nice boy home to Thanksgiving dinner. Sorry, but that ship has sailed. If I couldn’t snare one back when I was wearing deodorant and liquid eyeliner, I doubt they’ll all line up for Leaky Armpit Dustface.
And some people just can’t keep going. Exhibit A: Just a few days before the end of the Maid Up challenge, MNM fell completely silent and, to the casual observer, appeared to have skipped out on the whole lip color thing. Is this true? Has MNM finally met her match? Or has she finally realized it’s just not worth it to pursue a faulty product that’s just going to make her look worse than she already does?
Nah. That may be what the casual observer would think, but the faithful followers know that MNM is just a horrible procrastinator who can’t complete any task until the shit hits the fan. Sometimes it hits the hour before the task is due, sometimes the exact minute it’s due, and sometimes a week after it’s due (which reminds me, I have a credit card bill to pay last month).
But don’t worry, Little Maids, MNM did finish the Maid Up challenge, and she did it by her deadline. (It’s just taken me a few weeks to actually get the results on paper.) With just a few days left in the challenge, Mother Maid finished the job with a lipcolor recipe duet.
So the lipstick is very easy. It has no staying power, for one problem, but I’ve really just come to expect that at this point. What with cocoa powder foundation and charcoal powder mascara, I’ve gotten used to my entire look fading by the time I walk out the door in the morning. The other problem is that I kindof want to eat it.
Remember when you were 5 years old and you just wanted to take the cap off your strawberry-flavored chapstick and eat it whole? It was never a good idea, of course, because it always left you with that weird scratchy feeling in your throat. But strawberries just taste so good! Now imagine if those strawberries were real. And just like that, you have homemade lip color.
Frozen berries have awesome staining powers. I prefer reds and pinks, but even blackberries and blueberries will give a nice color (if you’re into a goth look). Just let the frozen berries melt and apply the juice however you see fit. There’s really no way to go wrong. And trust me, if there was a way to go wrong, MNM would have found it.
To finish it off, add some olive oil or some MNM-brand chapstick as a lipgloss, and then watch your recipe duo play a lovely duet all over your face. (It will be just like when my brother and I used to play holiday duets on the piano…except less bickering and nobody has to go to Christmas Eve mass with a black eye.)
So there you have your homemade lip color and, with it, the end of Maid Up. I hope you enjoyed (read “suffered through”) it as much as I did. I’m just glad I don’t have to keep a Swiffer in the bathroom drawer anymore.