7 Days of Self-Acceptance – Day 5: Live. Now.

If you’re like me, you probably don’t spend a whole lot of time in the here and now.  I know that I spend most of my time lingering on the past and agonizing over the future.  I try to stay present, stay mindful, and stay in the moment, but it seems there’s always something pulling me away – something dragging my focus off of “the now.”  I replay past failings over and over again; I invent disastrous future scenarios out of what-ifs; I ruminate on unhealthy feelings, like sorrow, guilt, shame, anxiety, and anger.  But none of that is really relevant, is it?  None of it is really occurring in the here and now; it either was or might be, but it isn’t right now.  If I was able to push away the past and the future, I’d be able to make some space for the current moment.

Easier said than done, right?  What is the current moment, really?  I find it hard to measure.  Is it a day?  An hour?  A minute? This very millisecond?  And if I’m literally living moment to moment, how can I plan?  How can I learn?  Rather than rejecting the past and the future, I think the best thing is to accept it (after all, it’s part of my life) but not allow past failures and future anxieties to rule or ruin the present.  This meditation by Father Flann has been such a great tool to help me let go a little bit.  At times, I have allowed my past to dictate my present, and this exercise has helped me to forgive and move forward.  This is a fresh moment – it is not the past, and it is not the future – and I choose to look at it with fresh eyes!

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3 thoughts on “7 Days of Self-Acceptance – Day 5: Live. Now.

  1. You have turned into quite the philosopher in your old age!
    You are certainly your mother’s daughter and your aunts’ niece for sure…we are all worriers. I feel like I have spent the majority of the past 25 years worrying about all the “what ifs” and it is a total waste of time since most of it never happens and we have very little control over it anyway.
    As far as guilt over the past, I try to tell myself that I made the best decision I could at the time…sometimes it works. You know what they say about hindsight…

  2. You have so eloquently expressed the challenge of my days. As to letting go of the past – maybe forgiveness of ourselves is a good first step – which might help to alleviate some guilt – which is what seems to keep us from letting go of the past in the first place( for me at least ) . I am one guilt ridden soul – unfortunately. As to the future – mine seems mapped out in the endless written lists that occupy so much of my time. Would love to allow myself to let my future be a by product of a well lived past and present – a hard lesson to learn – and even harder to practice. Love you dear Maid.

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